Yesterday i talk to N about what happened to me last November.

It was very hard to talk about with him....i worry him knowing about it will change how he sees me. I can't see how it wouldn't but i don't know...it's just something i'm now thinking about.

You see it took a piece out of me, changed me, changed how i see the world. I didn't want it to, it just did. Do i see all men as being animals, no...of course not...but i am a bit frightened of strange men. I get very nervous when i leave the house. I have panic attacks and have to take tablets to calm myself so it is hard going on walk and going shopping but i try to force myself...it's just that some days are easier than others.