Lazy

I seemed to have become a lazy blogger. This was never my intention...so i will make more of an effort.

Today is a grey, overcast day and i'm in a mood, cranky even. I suppose what's to blame is my lack of sleep. I have only slept for 3 hours...i just could not get to sleep last night. I tossed and turned...i got back up and watched some tv...felt sleepy and laid back down..boing, wide awake..i tried reading but i was so tired that my eyes just kept on watering and it made it difficult to do...finally about 6am or shortly thereafter, i think i fell to sleep. I woke up with one cat meowing her head off...and moments later, the dreaded alarm sounded, it was 9am.

Up i got but i am really feelign the lack of sleep today i tell you. All i can think about as i got through the motions this morning, is napping. I just put four loads of laundry into the washer. Mother is napping off and on this morning, so far she hasn't wanted any breakfast, so she'll probably just have some lunch.

Yesterday i made a cabbage casserole. It is called Lazy Cabbage roll casserole because you use the same ingredients where instead of rolling it into the cabbage leaves, you layer it as you would a lasagne. I'm not big on cabbage but the family requested it. I have to admit that with a dollop of sour cream, it was quite tasty. Tonight we are splurging and having steak...my sister is picking it up from the market today...yay, i don't have to go out and get it.

This past Friday my friend R came over and he took me for groceries, it was a monty haul so it was good of him to help me out. Afterwards he came back and after i'd put everything away, we watched a couple of movies and he stayed for dinner. We watched School for Scoundrels which i quite enjoyed...and finally watched The Last King of Scotland. I'd been wanting to see it for months now...it was well worth the wait, no wonder the lead actor won so many awards.

This past weekend was a long weekend here...so my sister was home for three days. We had a mostly lazy weekend though Sunday we did some cleaning. I still need to polish my bedroom but i am putting it off ...especially today, i just feel too lazy...i can't motivate myself.

I had better check on the laundry...and get a glass of water, i am so thirsty today too.

My mother is driving me insane today...am i horrible or what? It all started because she is not feeling well....she just got her antibiotics switched because she wasn't tolerating the others. She had to see a doctor on call yesterday because of it...a doctors appointment on a Sunday, such a rarity...anyway...so she hasn't been feeling well. When she is like this, she is clingy and whiny and just wants me there, with her. So last night..i meant to have a nice relaxing bath and then go to bed..well mother wasn't having that. She wanted me to stay up with her because she was in a panic. Ok so i did...and it was almost 7am before i got into bed and was falling asleep... next thing i know someone is hitting the bed (i hate that) and calling my name, over and over and over again in a real annoying way. When i was able to open my eye and peer at the clock, it was 8.26am....i'd had about and hour and a half of sleep....and i felt like it too.

I tried to calm her down but she was having none of it...she gets herself all wound up and there is no consoling her. I was cranky and rather short with her. I am on medication to help me sleep and if i don't 'sleep it off' then i am often cranky and groggy. I tried to get her to allow me to sleep for a while but she was totally against it...so i resigned myself to waking up...it took my over 30minutes to totally wake up. Once awake, i still felt cranky and was short with her (and now i feel guilty for it) but i did my best to comfort her.

Part of her complaints was that her stomach was "on fire"...i suggested she have some breakfast. She wasn't convinced at first but i eventually talked her round and so i made her some oatmeal and toast with a big glass of milk. She ate some but not all and so i did the dishes and then sat with her, holding her hand, coddling her and trying to get her to calm down...all in vain.

At 11am her favourite game show comes on...she couldn't get interested in it at all...much to my dismay..i was really hoping for the welcome distraction, for her sake as well as mine. We sort of watched it...followed by Funniest Videos and then Family Feud, all her favs.

After that i just could not stay awake any longer...i explained to her that i had to sleep, i was feeling nauseous because i hadn't slept long enough and also i'd be better for her, more patient if i could just have a couple of more hours of sleep. She finally aquiesced and i got some much needed sleep. I slept for almost 3 hours, thankfully...but now i have a rotten headache...so i'm off to take some tylenol and then get ready to make dinner....no idea what i'll make tonight, leftovers from last nights dinner i think...but we shall see.

An award

I just found out i was awarded this award by Zirelda at http://zirelda.blogspot.com/

Award Rules

1) If you have received an award simply choose either the dark or light background image and save it to your files, then post it proudly on your blog!

2) Pass the award on to five other people, you can choose any of the awards from the series, you do not have to pass out the exact award you received. Choose whichever of the awards below that you'd like to give out. You can give out one of each or five of the same one, whatever you prefer.

3) You can change the size and color of awards to suit your blog, that's up to you, it's your blog, just leave the titles the same.

4) Please link back to this post so that people can read these rules and so that the meanings of the awards will not be lost.

5) If you feel that you or a friend are deserving of an award and no one has given one to you yet then email me at sayhitochristy(at)hotmail.com and tell me about your website.I would like to pass the award to:

Brie She is courageous because she is caring for her elderly ill mother (which is no small feat) I would like her to have the

A quiet Friday evening...not

All is not quiet on the homefront. Mother is till unwell and very clingy. I am trying to be patient with her and i'm doing a pretty good job of it but i have such a painful headache right now, my head is throbbing and my neck and shoulders are so tight..i definitely need a massage.

It's been a busy day..i had a lot of jobs to do today, cleaning actually...but i got it all done and squeezed in a nap while mother was asleep. I woke up to her calling my name... which isn't so bad normally but i woke up with this killer headache and it's right in the middle of my forehead...and i felt so groggy, as if i'd been drugged. Not good. Once i got her settled down it took me a while to come to...but i did eventually.

She has been relatively quiet since, which has been a relief... right now she is watching 1 vs 100 and while i usually enjoy the show, it just seems loud and is driving me nuts.

Well i am off to do a load of laundry, but i'll be back.

Mother isn't feeling the greatest, not since last week. Last Thursday i had to take her to the doctors because she was doing poorly...and he put her on antibiotics for a kidney infection. That medication seemed to make her feel worse and bothered her stomach and so i had to call on Monday and they switched the antibiotic and so far it hasn't helped.

When mother isn't feeling well...you kind of have to walk on egg shells with her...she cries at the drop of a hat. Say something wrong, she cries...ask how she's feeling, she cries. She has always been a crier but when she isn't feeling well, it seems to be overly exaggerated.

I haven't been out to have my walk yet. I am feeling down...when mother is like this it really gets to me...i mean i try to be a patient person and for the most part i am but when she is like this it is hard to deal with. I will just have to grin and bear it to the best of my ability.

Tonight i am making pork chops in a garlic/mushroom sauce with rice. I wish i could make it ahead of time...because i'd like to make it now, but i've never done it like that, so i'll just wait and do it later....at least i know what's for dinner. Lately i've been struggling to come up with ideas...i seem to be in a bit of a meal rut...always making the same things and getting utterly and completely bored with it. I need to add some new meal ideas to my repertoire...any ideas, keeping in mind i am cooking for four and i prefer plain and simple yet tasty.

Any help would be appreciated. = )

Monday morning

The weekend was a good one, very productive but also relaxing. Friday night i did groceries...this time my sister came with me and it was great having two extra hands. We got tons of stuff and it took me ages to get put away once we got back home with it.

Friday night was just tv viewing and then when it got late, i watched the Big Brother live feeds on the internet. I paid for them last week and i've been enjoying them ever since...yes i'm a BB addict.

Saturday i tidied up around here. S was babysitting her grandsons for the day at their house and M was working so it was just mother and i here. When my sister got home, she'd gone shopping with the boys and purchased a bin/shelf type thing for us to store our veggies in because we are always struggling with room in the fridge for everything...so now we can store out potatoes and onions and whatnot in the bins. Very cool...i am a sucker for things like that. It was fun loading all of the stuff into them since we'd just done groceries and had lots in.

Saturday night was another night of tv viewing...not a lot on and by 11pm i was tired and went to bed....i only slept for a few hours then i was awake...playing some games online then watched some BB....i'll miss that when it's over...but thankfully a ways to go before that happens.

Sunday i went and picked up a few more groceries, mainly fruit. We've all been on a kick here for cherries and so i bought more of those...and some grapes and various other things. I was up and out of the house by 9am so there weren't many people at the grocery store...i love that.

When i got home from shopping, i put it all away...S had made breakfast for mother and she was doing the dishes when i got back. That all done...i vacuumed and tidied up again and then settled in with my sister to watch some stuff she'd taped during the week. We both do that, tape stuff during the week to watch on the weekend when there is usually nothing on. I did laundry and then laid down for a nap....by that time i was very tired. When i woke up it was almost 5pm and S had dinner going, yum. We had spaghetti and meatballs with pork cutlets, salad and garlic bread. After we ate ( we were all stuffed) S and i did dishes...they were done in a flash, thankfully...and then we settled in for Sunday night viewing. This year BB is on on Sunday nights as opposed to the Saturday nights that it used to be on. I confess, while i do like it on Sunday nights..i miss having it on Saturday...because there really isn't a lot on Saturday night, apart from Cops.

Well...that was my weekend...looks like today is shaping up to be a good day...so i will go and get on with it...i hope you have a great day today.

Thursdays thoughts

It is warm out today, a bit sunny but sort of humid, not my favourite kind of day.

Mother isn't feeling well at all, so i had to call the doctors to see if i could get her in to see the doctor. Turns out they are swamped, doublebooked...seems the doctor is going on holidays soon and so everyone is trying to get in to see him. If they don't see her, she is hoping they will send her an antibiotic...with her lungs they way they are, it's a safe bet they will.

I had my walk this morning and didn't really enjoy it...i think, since i am a creature of habit, that i need to change up my route...as i'm bored with the same scenery. Will have to do that tomorrow..don't want to be discouraged from going for my walks, they really do set the pace for the rest of my day.

Big Brother is on tonight and it is an elimination night...i am anxious to see who will be going home...that and the results of So You Think You Can Dance will mean a good nights viewing.

I had better post this and get my work done then i can just relax tonight.

Have a good one.

What's for Dinner?

Today is another headache day. I didn't wake up with it though...it just came on a little while ago. I've had my walk, fed mother but i've yet to tidy up or do dishes...but i will... but this headache crept up on me. I wasn't expecting it, there were no signs...it just arrived, like a fog that overcomes a city in a sinister sort of way. So here it is...now what shall i do.

Well firstly i will tidy up the kitchen and get the dishes all done and then will get all of the recycling together, then take that all down so it's all sorted out.

I will take some tylenol at some point, but not too soon. This kind of tylenol has caffeine and codeine in it and so it will often make me sleepy...and while i do want to nap, i don't want to nap right now.

Perhaps the headache is weather related. It is overcast and there is the threat of rain and thunderstorm activity. Maybe it is lack of sleep. I was up late watching those Big Brother live feeds...well i did pay good money to watch them. = )

Today i also need to figure out what to have for dinner tonight...any ideas, what are you having?

Big Brother live feeds...oh the frustration

Today i have a very painful headache. Whenever i've heard people describe migraines, it often sounds like the pain and symptoms that i have but my doctor says, based on the location of my pain and the fact that my neck and shoulders get all tense, that it is a tension headache.

I am not surprised that i am tense, uptight. I've had quite the morning.

Firstly, i had my walk this morning and that was as enjoyable as it usually is...i feel i'm on my way to losing the extra weight i've gained being home, looking after mother...but when i got home from my walk, i thought i'd turn on the Big Brother feeds, which i bought and paid for, only to have problems getting the feed to work. An hour later and much frustration, a friend suggested i do a system restore. A nifty tool that has come in handy for me before...so i set it back to a day earlier when i'd created a save point...and bingo, boingo...it was reset...only i forgot the changes i'd made would be lost. So the thirty or so icons that i'd painstakingly changed to lovely little flowers to match my wallpaper...all gone. Grrrr.. so now i'll have to work on that today as it drives me a bit crazy, i like my desktop to be pretty (call me anal)...so i have all that to work on...when mother asked for her breakfast.

Okay, i'm guilty as charged...i got caught up in my computer stuff and the time slipped away from me..i got right on it. She wanted a toasted english muffin and a hot cup of tea. I can do that, sure no problem....only i go into the kitchen to a sink full of dirty dishes soaking in less than clean soapy water....(my nephew is notorious for leaving such messes for me, grrrr) and since i can't stand to have dishes soaking..i drained the water and filled it up with clean, soapy water and washed the dishes...then put the muffin in the toaster so it would toast as i was doing dishes...and put the kettle on to boil.

After i got the dishes done, i noticed the butter dish was ....EMPTY...yet another thing my nephew does...puts it back in the cupboard empty, needing to be washed and another pound put in. Grrr...yes well we do have margerine too (my sister and i prefer it to butter) but mother doesn't care for it....so after i washed the dish, i went to break the news to my mother...surprisingly she was fine, said use margerine just not too much. Sure, i can do that...by the time i got back to the kitchen, the muffin had popped and the kettle had boiled. Mother requested the muffin be well toasted..so i pushed it back down and thought to myself...that i won't let it go the whole time...only i got busy making the tea...and then the muffin popped again...too dark if you ask me, so i began to butter it (well, margerine it) and then i remember the tea bag was in the water...ooops, mother doesn't like her tea very strong...so i quickly grabbed that out and finished the muffin, adding some unsweetened jam (not mothers fav, it's mine but it's all we have right now) to her very dark muffin. Sigh. I was sure she would complain but she didn't, thank goodness...and happily ate it..thankfully she likes it dark..and when i say dark i mean almost burnt, dark. Yuck!

While mother was eating i decided to try out the Big Brother feed... but did it work...nooooo....i started to think i might cancel this if it continues... but then the one time i tried it, i got a message suggesting i try to adjust the setting which during connectivity, allowed more time...so i changed the number and tried again...nope, didnt work but it suggested i try again to adjust the setting..so i did...still no...then i tried it one more time...and lo and behold it connected, yay! By this time my shoulders and neck were/are so tense..i really don't handle stuff like this very well. Soooo, i get the feed going...only to connect and see that all of the houseguests are still sleeping...Sigh. I'll try again later but at least i'll know how to get it working...i hope.

That's been my day so far. Wanted to go for groceries today but i have a bad headache...did i mention that?

Boy it's been a while since i've actually sat down and posted something. I've been in a real fog lately... well, not so much of a fog but a funk...yeah that's it, a funk.

One good thing of late is that i've been walking every day and lost 4 pounds, which is wonderful. I've been getting up in the morning, throwing on my baseball cap to cover up my bedhead and heading out the door....and it's been great, i've really kept at it a nd it's doing me the world of good. The only thing that would make it better is if i had a friend to walk and chat with along the way...or a dog, that would be wonderful, to have a dog again.

Though i haven't been writing here, i have still be reading blogs and thoroughly enjoying them...i'll have to add them to my list as there are a few. I just really enjoy sitting down at my computer to read...now i'll have to get back into the swing of things and sit down, not only to read...but to write too!

Last week or so, Big Brother started here. Well, it's the American version because we don't have one in Canada...but i'm hooked yet again, so much so that i paid the $40usd to watch the live feeds online...and oh boy am i addicted. The last couple of nights since i purchased it, i've been up till 4am or so, watching...i can barely pull myself away... am i pathetic or what.

One girl though, i have to tell you about...her name is Jessica and last night i guess she washed her hair and was blowing it dry and the camera was on her and i swear she blew it dry, very meticulously for 30mins...more than the time she took but it was the way she did it, almost focusing on each hair and section of hair and took painstakingly care to dry to her roots too...gosh i couldn't stop watching and when she was done i felt totally inept with the way i dry my hair...i mean i don't even dry my hair totally, i always thought that was bad for your hair...so i just do the basic shaping and let it finish drying on it's own. Am i wrong...how long does it take to dry your hair?

I'm very curious to know....

Word of the day...

Word of the Day for Friday, July 13, 2007

triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun:

A morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th.

Wish i could say that i haven't been posting regularly because i've been off enjoying the summer...but nothing could be further from the truth. About the only thing i'm really enjoying about this summer is the air conditioning...i mean it.

I don't know why but i've always preferred winter...i love the cold, the snow...the winter sports, the spiffy winter garments..jackets, scarves..mittens (or gloves)...all of it....so when winter was over and thoughts of summer prevailed...i got depressed and i've been depressed ever since.

Not seriously depressed...but enough to know that i'm just biding my time till summer is over and fall hits with the promise of winter soon behind.

...is that a snowflake i see....nah, just some heavy-duty wishful thinking.

Had a nice, relaxing weekend. Most weekends are but this one was especially...and mother has been in a good mood and that makes it that much better.

Cherries are in season and we've all been on a kick for them...which means i've had to go out shopping twice this week to pick up some, even after my sister picked up a basket of them from the farmers market that she visits weekly from her downtown office. All i can say is, they've been yummy!

That's one thing i enjoy during the summer, all the fresh fruit. Had some lovely watermelon the other day and i can't hardly wait for the peaches to come in during August, yum!

So Big Brother started last Thursday...and was on again tonight. I don't know if Sunday night will be a regular night for it, but i enjoy the fact that it's usually on three nights a week. Will take some getting used to the guests in the house and the fact that there is one guy in the house that is America's player, which basically means he'll be doing whatever America votes for him to do. Will be interesting to see how that plays out. I know i'll be tuned in.

What did you do this weekend?

Have you ever had a day where all you wanted to do was go back to bed.

Sure it started out alright, things were fine...i woke up around 9am and i usually, after a visit to the bathroom, get cups of water for both my mother and me....usually in plastic cups, but today was different. I needed to wash the cups and i was thirsty, so i grabbed an actual glass from the cupboard to get a drink until i did the dishes...i ran the water and filled the glass and put the glass to my mouth, when it slipped from my fingers and crash, it shattered on the kitchen floor.

That cleaned up and sorted out, i did the dishes...an assortment of dishes besides our favourite water cups...so i washed them all and put them in the tray to drip dry...when my nephew brought a plate that he'd been eating off of...and handed it to me...but apparently i didn't make the grab correctly and smash, it fell to the floor, breaking in a few pieces.

I am generally a patient person but two things in one morning, grrrrr!

So i cleaned that mess up, grabbed our ice water and carried the glasses into the bedroom. I set mine down and it set it down on top of a loose pill on my bedside table and the water spilled all over the table and floor. Sigh. I cleaned up that mess, which thankfully, didn't include any broken glass and sat down to take my morning pills.

By that time i had a small headache...so took some tylenol, along with the other pills and that was the beginning of my day.

Mother had her breakfast, then lunch...and all dishes are safe and sound...so far, but the night is still young.

The Rules: Use ONE WORD for each answer

Yourself: sad

Your Spouse: none

Your Hair: straight

Your Mother: difficult

Your Father: deceased

Your Favorite Item: computer

Your Dream Last Night: scary

Your Favorite Drink: water

Your Dream Car: tt

Your Dream Home: safe

The Room You Are In: bedroom

Your Fear: death

Where You Want To Be In Ten Years: married

Who You Hung Out With Last Night: mother

You’re Not: disciplined

One of Your Wish List Items: camera

The Last Thing You Did: read

You Are Wearing: tshirt

Your Favorite Weather: snowy

Your Favorite Book: funny

Last Thing You Ate: fudgesicle

Your Life: boring

Your Mood: melancholy

Your Best Friend: Rich

What Are You Thinking About Right Now: bed

What Are You Doing At The Moment: blogging

Relationship Status: single

What Is On Your TV: CNN

What Is The Weather Like: cool

When Is The Last Time You Laughed: yesterday

Gosh, i haven't blogged in a while...time just slips away, doesn't it.

All is relatively fine here...except i had a small accident, i slipped on the wet floor and bruised my ribs, which doesn't sound like much but it is very painful. Sometimes it feels okay but then i move in a certain way and ouch, it hurts...very bad. At times it just hurts to breathe...and getting up or sitting down is painful too.... other than that, life has been good.

Mother is doing relatively well and has been in a good mood, which always makes life easier. Tonight we watched the concert for Princess Diana and i have to say i really enjoyed it and found parts of it very moving, especially the song Diddy did...i guess it was the things he was saying too as well as the lyrics to that particular song.

At the end of the concert, the Princes spoke, thanked everyone and then they showed some video of Diana as a baby/child...she was such a beautiful person, in body and in spirit. I still remember the night i heard that she died...i called my sister and the two of us, each in shock, talked and watched the news reports together. We were so sad and we cried...and even now, i still can't believe she is gone.

After the concert, we watched Mystery on PBS and then some stuff i'd taped during the week, mostly episodes of Who Wants to be a Millionaire....the episodes were good but Meredith is absent and they have a guy from the UK that i've never heard of, filling in for her. We still enjoyed them though.

Now i am here, blogging...but not much to say...so perhaps i'll go to bed and blog tomorrow.

It's good to be back.

Happy Birthday Canada!

I can't believe so much time has passed since i last blogged...i hope i can get back into the swing of things.

It's been a mostly uneventful week since i was 'gone'....and right now mother is in a mood and not speaking to me or my sister, for separate reasons. With my sister it is because my sister bought her a pair of headphones so she could listen to the new tv...now keep in mind this is something that she has been talking about since before we got the tv...well this past Sunday, S and i were out shopping and we saw headphones...so she decided to pick them up...well, we got home with them and everything else we'd bought and mother threw a fit. She went on about us going shopping by ourselves and not inviting her (she never wants to go out, ever, unless it's to the hairdressers) and then she basically threw the headphones back at S when she handed them to her, telling her to "keep them". I tell you this woman happily cuts her nose off to spite her face regularly...and it's hard to know how to deal with her.

With me, she's been upset with me since one day last week when i laid down for a nap and slept a little longer than i should i. Of course i didn't mean to but sheesh, she sure punishes me for it. Since then, she is being 'Miss Independant' and is trying to get her own things to eat. So fine, i will only be told no so many times in a rude manner before i leave you alone to get your own...and so i do now. Of course i cook dinner, or my sister does... but it's usually me...and it seems no matter what i put before her, she rolls her eyes. I can't make the woman happy, no way, no how.

God give me the strength to deal with her because i'm not quite sure how much longer i can do this.

You Are 70% Peaceful

You are a very peaceful person. All is good in your world, no matter what's going on. Occasionally you let your problems get to you, but you generally remain upbeat. Your inner strength is inspirational - much more so than you may realize.

How Peaceful Are You?

I can't believe the last time i blogged was Wednesday...i guess i just haven't been in the mood.

Things are better here now though...mother is in a better mood and all is right with the world. S has gone to her son John's to house sit, M has gone away on a long distance haul and mother and i are enjoying some peace and quiet. It's nice.

Well that is all for now i'm afraid...will be back, of course.

It was a bit of an up and down day today, mostly down.

Mother has been in one of her moods so its been rough in that respect. I had trouble sleeping last night so i took something to help me sleep...meaning today i was very drowsy. I don't like feeling like that but it means i slept longer than usual. When i woke up, she was clearly upset with me for having slept so long. When i asked what she wanted for breakfast, she gave me a terse "nothing". When i asked if she was sure, saying she needed to eat something, she shook her head no...and i knew from that point on today would not be a good day....and it was not.

I will spare you, my imaginary readers, the details....suffice it to say she was miserable and took it out on all around her...and she pulled no punches today (not that she really ever does...but today was particularly cruel)

Because of the medication i'd taken to help me sleep last night, i felt tired all day so really did nothing at all. I tidied up a bit, did some dishes and tidied up the bathroom, which for a small room, always seems to be a mess.

When it was lunch time, out of guilt, i asked mother what she'd like for lunch...she said "i'll get it myself" and get it herself she did. She made herself some soup and a sandwich and i just read...clearly today she wasn't going to let herself need me for anything.

In the afternoon i laid down and had a nap, i had to...i couldnt shake off the medication i'd taken...i was groggy. I woke at 3.30pm and got mother and i some ice water then i logged into icq and msn. A bunch of people were online so i chatted for awhile until it was almost time for the tv to be delivered. It was almost 5pm.... and she was getting uglier by the moment. I wasn't sure what would happen when the tv guy arrived. I had offered to pay her half for the tv and then pay her payments to pay off the balance but she said "i don't want your f****** money". Nice language (and believe this i am giving the tame version) from a 73 year old woman. In the end she let him set it up and started to tell me a bit about it when she spoke right up to him and said " you should be telling me, i'll be the one running it"....ok, fine mother. With that i walked away. She was not above embarassing me in front of this man and i didn't want to hear anymore of her snide remarks.

When he was ready to leave, i showed him to the door went to the living room to watch tv with my sister who was home from work by that time.

She and i had a nice, relaxing evening. I didn't feel in the mood to cook but again (i never learn) i offered to warm some leftovers up for mother but she again declined my offer in a not-so-nice way and so i threw a couple of frozen pizzas in the oven for the rest of us (mother made herself some toast and then had a piece of pizza).

S and i spent the evening watching tv, first So You Think You Can Dance and then Canada's Next Top Model. We enjoyed both of those shows and then it was time for the Sopranos. I watched a bit of it but then decided to go to bed..instead, here i am blogging.

I think i will close this and get into bed with a magazine. I hope tomorrow will be a better day...and i get to play w ith the tv.

I should have bought it myself....another lesson learned. I feel so down...please let her be in a better mood tomorrow.

It's promising to be another glorious day out there...the sun is shining bright and hot with a slight feel of humidity. Not my favourite, humidity...it is why i don't really like the summer time sometimes. I really love the days like we had this past weekend...brilliantly sunny and hot but without the slightest tought of the nasty old humidity.

Not much on today...we are having fish for dinner. S will pick it up from the Farmers Market today on her lunch break...when she gets home just before 5pm i'll bread the sole and leave the salmon as is. With that we'll have some sort of potatoes, probably fried with creamed peas which is so yummy with fish. Mother makes them so that is her little project for today.

Speaking of mother, she has had her bath and before she dressed i helped her to rub lotion all over her. She's been quite itchy lately and i think its really just dry skin and not the laundry soap (which i haven't changed) as she suspects.

We are in the market for a television for our bedroom so i am going to call a place today to see if we can get one delivered. We looked in the Sears catalogue, hoping we could get it from there but it had no televisions in there...darn! Well, the next best thing is this particular store that mother has done business with before...so with any luck by this afternoon we'll have ordered a new tv and will get it delivered soon.

I should get dressed and see what mother would like for her breakfast today. After that i will go sit in the sun for a while and read a magazine.

Another glorious day outside...i just came in from the balcony where i had a nice hot cup of coffee. Mother is having her cup of tea and a chicken sandwich, her choice for her breakfast this morning.

I have no plans for today other than the usual type things. I'd like to go out and pick up a few groceries and maybe i will but right now i have no plans.

My friend Dave just called, he is up getting ready for work (he is out in BC)...we had a nice little chat about our weekends...it is always nice to hear from him. I told him how lovely it's been here and he grumbled a bit because it's been raining out his way...he is itching to get back out on the golf course. I don't blame him, i know he loves to golf. Anyway it was good to talk to him....we are talking of getting together this fall. I look forward to seeing him.

Well i am finished my coffee so i suppose i should get up and get some things done. Goodbye for now.

I am so tired right now, so this will be a short post. We spent most of the day outside today and the fresh air has done me a world of good.

We live in an apartment and we are on the first floor, ground level. Our balcony looks over the front of the building which is on a beautiful treed lot. On the lawn there is a huge maple tree..close to our balcony there is dogwood bush and a lovely Japanese maple...all in all, very nice and shady all afternoon. Today we planted a few hostas and clamatis. The latter right in front of our balcony which has a trellis on it, giving the clematis something to climb on. In planter boxes we planted some blue flowers (the name escapes me right now) and some white impatiens. Once everything gets going it will look very nice i'm sure...will take some pics at some point.

Now we are looking for some nicer furniture for out there...we'll need some luck in our search i'm afraid...all of the furniture we've seen have been big sets of four chairs with table and umbrella...patio furniture, which is a bit too much for our balcony. I will keep my eye open.

I'm also looking for a new television and will get to the mall one day to look for now but i'm in no hurry.

Everyone is asleep...since we were outside all day we're all pooped...the fresh air did mother a world of good.

I am off to bed...will be asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Unlike yesterday, today has been a fun day.

I was up early and made breakfast for mother. Today she wanted tea and cinnamon toast. She was feeling a tad bit cold so the tea helped to warm her. Afterwards she had a sponge bath and changed into flannel pajamas, so she is nice and warm now.

After breakfast my sister and i decided we'd go shopping....it is such a beautiful day out there, we just had to get out. The sun is shining and warm and there is a beautiful breeze...a perfect summer day. So off we went. We called a taxi and the driver couldn't have been nicer...i like when they chat with you, some don't...which is fine but when they are so outgoing and friendly i usually tip more, afterall it makes the drive that much more pleasant.

So we arrived at the store and it was early but still pretty busy. Thankfully it wasn't hot out because the temperature in the store was hovering around warm. We walked around and looked for the things we'd gone for...i needed tylenol 1's....and two new pillows for my bed. Found two nice queen sized ones at a very good price and settled on those. S picked out some new carpets for our bathroom, unfortunately they didn't have towels to match (both my sister and i are totally in to bedding and towels) We got some hooks for over the backs of the bedrooms and bathroom door (will be fun filling those up) and we bought some other things, stuff i can't remember now....some junk food, a gift for her grandson and since we were both dying of thirst a nice cold bottle of water. We never seem to remember to take one with us........then again there never seems to be one in the fridge when we want one because my nephew is always taking them and not putting any in.....grrrrr@him Anyway we got all we wanted (and then some) and decided to head home. It was lovely waiting outside the store for the taxi...lots of people around and it gave my sister and i a chance to talk. We talked about our mother.

My mother has been upset with me for a couple of days..i think sometimes she just searches for reasons to be. Two days ago i slept a little late and she's been upset with me since. I don't like it when she gets mad at me and often times she tries to pick a fight with me, saying some very mean things to me but i don't take the bait. When she first moved in i confess to losing my cool with her twice...and i shouted and behaved badly...but i knew i'd upset her greatly and have really tried never to do it again...i had to bite very hard on my tongue last night to stop myself from fighting back but i'm glad to say i didn't. My mother can be very mean when she wants to be.

Anyway...we got home from shopping and made a bite to eat... mother and i had grilled cheese sandwiches and my sister had some chinese food left over from the other night. After the dishes were done we all decided to nap and i got to try out my new pillow....it is fabulous!

Now i am sitting here at my computer, reading my favourite blogs, writing on mine and just relaxing... i might be back later.

Enjoy your day!

Today has been the most boring day.

I woke up early, mother wasn't feeling hungry so i took my morning meds and promptly fell back to sleep. I didn't sleep long but by that time mother was hungry, so i made her some hot mushroom soup with some buttered bread and a glass of milk. When she was done i did the dishes and read for a bit. Couldn't really get in to that so i watched a bit of tv.

Paris Hilton was in the news...she had been released from prison early (too early if you ask me) because of some undiclosed medical condition by the sheriffs office but by today the judge wanted to see her in court. She tried calling in for her appearance but the judge wasn't having that so he ordered the sheriffs office to pick her up and bring her into court. Once there he ordered her back to jail. Good, i am glad. I am very tired of celebrities getting off for things you and i would be jailed for.

I just had to get that out....

The hockey season is over for the Senators, the Anaheim Ducks won the cup. Enough said on that subject.

I am very tired so will be heading to bed soon..i wanted to post before i did.

I was up early this morning. Made mother some breakfast and then got myself ready by washing my hair, brushing my teeth and getting dressed. Then i was all ready to go pick up a few groceries. It was 8c out when i left...for some reason i didn't wear a jacket but it wasn't long before i wished i had. Brrr, it was quite chilly. Getting into the grocery store didn't help as i always find it very cool in there. I noticed there were a lot of seniors in the store with their walkers or scooters....when i was done my shopping i was waiting outside for my taxi along with a whole bunch of them. It was then that a chartered bus pulled up...an older gentleman asked if this was my bus. Ouch! I had to laugh to myself...do i look so horrible.

Once in the taxi and on my way home i made a snap decision to stop in at a local bakery and pick up a few things for mother...as the taxi waited i ran in and picked out the few things i wanted and hurried back to my ride. Not long after i was home....thankfully the taxi driver was of great help to me, loading the cart for me. Once loaded i made my way inside and unloaded the bags into the apartment. You don't realize how much stuff there is until you have to lug them all.

After i'd unpacked everything and got the freezer stuff put away along with the stuff that needed to go into the fridge...i sat down for a few minutes with mother. She wasn't feeling very well, was feeling quite nauseous at that point, so i got her some gingerale which i hoped would help to settle her tummy while i got back to the business at hand, putting away the groceries.

Once that was done i decided to do two loads of laundry. I sorted it all out and put the loads into our laundry cart and off i went to the laundry room. When they were done washing i put them into the dryer then decided to get lunch for mother and me.

At the bakery i'd picked up some sausage rolls and three different pasta salads ...so i plated some food for us and we sat on my bed as we ate and watched some tv. Family Feud was on and we played along as we ate. Mother always enjoys it when we both participate in the game shows she watches. Lunch over, i did the dishes and then it was time to get the laundry out of the dryer and brought it up for the two of us to fold on the bed.

That all done and put away...mother and i decided we'd nap. I had a bit of a headache but felt very tired so it sounded like a very good idea.

I laid down at 2pm and slept until almost 5pm...quite the nap but i must have needed it...but that doesn't explain why at 11pm tonight i am so tired.

We were having a late dinner tonight because my sister was going to her grandsons tball game...so i got mother some grapes and a nectarine and a glass of milk for a snack, hoping it would tide her over until 8pm when we expected to eat. We often eat later in the evening like that...which doesn't help with my weight gain... but there you have it.

When S got home from the game around 7.30pm i started dinner. I made pork chops with fried rice and a salad. It was quite yummy, if i do say so myself. After dishes we sat down to watch So You Think You Can Dance. The three of us enjoyed the episode and then it was time to watch the episode of Canada's Next Top Model that i'd taped at 8pm because i knew i'd be cooking dinner and wouldn't be able to watch it.

It too was a good episode...the one where the girls get their makeovers. Wow...most of the girls looked stunning afterwards...i don't know all of their names yet but one girl, whose hair went from brown to bright red with a kind of funky cut with heavy bangs...was having trouble getting used to her new look. I really don't blame her but what do i know about modelling after all. I just enjoy the show. When it came down to the bottom two for elmination, i wasn't surprised about the one girl being there *next week i hope to know their names* but in the end it was the other girl who got elminated. Shame...i thought the other would go.

After that was over, the Sopranos came on but i just didn't feel like watching it tonight...so here i am now.

That was my day..how was yours?

Had a nice quiet day today but feeling kind of down.

Got out for a walk early this morning, before the heat of the day set in, it was nice but very humid, i was very happy to get back home. In an effort to lose some weight i've also been working on doing flights of stairs here in the building...every little bit helps i guess.

Did a couple of loads of laundry today, small loads...they didn't need to be done and in retrospect i should have waited but sometimes i just like it when there is no laundry in the hamper...that and i just like to keep ahead of it.

After that was done i was going to start dinner but my sister does volunteer work on Mondays, after work...and so i knew she wouldn't be home until 7pm...so waited until the appropriate time and started dinner. Tonight we were just having hamburg patties, fried potatoes and corn on the cob with slices of cucumber. By the time i'd made dinner i was feeling so lethargic that i just wasn't hungry. I ate a little but not much. Thankfully my sister offered to do the dishes...so i took her up on the offer and away she went.

At 8pm we were watching Little People, Big World when Rich called. I forgot we had spoken last night and he was to call me tonight from his parents place (where he was spending the night) to see about coming for dinner on Tuesday. So we are getting together and he will be over some time Tuesday afternoon, so i am going to get up early and make a macaroni salad. With that we'll have breaded chicken breasts and some coleslaw. I think he will like that.

He didn't hear back from that place regarding the position they were seeking to fill...shame. It would have meant him working nearby and he could have come for lunches, etc. I do hope he finds something soon. In the meantime i've been picking up food for him here and there when i go grocery shopping. I hope there is a fair amount there for him to take home. I know he is struggling and he is my friend. I am sure it isn't easy and i don't like the idea of him going without food.

Mother has been getting me down again today...she is talking of going to stay in a old age home. I feel like she is saying i am not taking good enough care of her. I have been trying my best to do all i can for her, it's just never enough.

I don't think she will be happy going into a home, with strangers. Mother has never been one to have friends...all of my life she never really had very many friends. Right now she has none at all...so maybe it would be a good thing for her. I will support whatever decision she makes. I just hope she is happy when she finds a placement.

Well i don't want to think about that right now... i should go to bed because i'll need to get up early, wash my hair and get the salad ready.

Goodnight.

Another photo of Buddy, lounging on my bed. She looks slightly annoyed at me for snapping her photo while she was trying to sleep and my incessant calling of her name to get her to lift her head and look at me.

I took this picture while Buddy and i were laying on my bed... just relaxing after i'd finished the laundry.

I woke up early because we were having the carpets and furniture cleaned and Scotch guarded. That is all done now and we can't sit on the furniture or what on the rugs for 8 to 10 hours...so right now all three of us ladies are hanging out in my room...i am blogging and mother and sister are on my bed, watching Saturdays tv, which for my mother means mainly cooking shows.

I am thinking about heading to Fortinos to pick up a few things but because i was just there last night, i wouldn't need much and maybe it would be a wasted trip really but i feel like doing something, i feel a little stir crazy.

Haven't heard from Rich as to whether he got the job he interviewed for yesterday, i don't know if that's good or bad news. I will have to call him to see.

Well i will get ready to head out...brave the temperatures...wish me luck!

A new month

June the 1st already, i can't believe it...the time is just flying by.

This morning i braved the heat and humidity..ok...so it was only because i knew i was coming back home to air conditioned comfort, but i still braved it.

I felt like i would melt the moment i stepped outside the building, thankfully i didn't have to wait long for the taxi to arrive. I had hoped it would be air conditioned and it might well have been but the windows were down...not great for the hairdo. I had just tried to fix my 'bedhead' as i didn't feel like shampooing, drying and curling my hair...well you get the picture...wind plus bedhead equals not pretty. I didn't care...i was going to Walmart to exchange a couple of things for my sister and to pick up a few things for my mother and me and i was not out to impress anyone. Seriously though, it wasnt as bad as i make it out to be...it just wasn't newly washed hair, which i always prefer.

So i got what i wanted, exchanged what i had to and was finished. The store was fairly busy but i didn't have to wait long to check out...and then i called a taxi and i was off home.

Once home, i checked in on mother, she had made herself a wee bite to eat in my absence and seemed find, so i got everything put away and got mother and i some ice water and settled in to watch a bit of tv. It was then that Rich called to tell me how his job interview had gone...apparently well and he is looking to hear back from them by the end of today. Oh i do hope he gets the position, it would be wonderful for him to be working again, and at an office so close by, he could come for lunch sometimes, etc. Fingers crossed for Rich!

Since then, i tried to nap but couldn't sleep...there's a first for me! Actually i have a bit of a headache, i think from being out in the humidity...so i took some tylenol and sat down at my computer. I've been playing a game a friend gave me so it didn't take long for me to lose myself in that...before i know it, my headache was gone. Yay!

Since then my sister has come home but she has gone for a nap. I've gotten myself ready to go out, this time washing and drying my hair, etc so now i'm just chatting with some online friends and typing this post as i wait for the time that i shall wake here...then we are going to go grocery shopping and to pick up a few plants from the nursery for out front. I just want to go and get it over with but i understand that she has worked all day and needs a bit of a nap.

I must get lottery tickets while i am out, i think i heard that the jackpot this weekend is 32 million...wouldn't it be nice to win just a bit of that!

Well...i shall post this and change into some 'going out' clothes and then call my sister.

Happy Friday, Happy weekend, Happy June!

Twas another hot, humid day today...so thankful for our air conditioning.

I'm having a bit of quiet time right now, as mother has nodded off. I am ready for bed myself though, i'm so tired.

Today was not so busy, i had another terrible headache and i napped in the morning after i'd taken something for it and it made me sleepy. I woke up in time to make mother dinner, but she was upset with me for napping so she declined lunch and instead, fixed herself a little something. That is fine, i will just let her work herself through it.

I got myself ready around 4pm and then when Sue got home, we went to Walmart. Mother decided she was staying home, so off the two of us went. It was hotter and more humid than i really thought..i could hardly wait to get to Walmart. We made it there by taxi and began shopping. Each of us had a list of things we wanted to pick up. In no time the cart was full and we were ready to head home. The ride home was very breezy, thanks to the windows being wide open...the driver was quiet but S and i chatted and laughed the whole way home.

Once home, with everything put away, we ordered dinner...Swiss Chalet, yum! Mother and S had ribs and chicken while i had a charbroiled burger (which was just yummy) and we watched some tv for the rest of the evening. So You Think You Can Dance was on for an hour at 9pm...we watched that, then various other things....and now it's 11.20pm and i'm ready for bed.

I think i'll close this post and head to bed.

Night, night.

Is it ever hot outside. 34c with the humidex. Thank goodness my nephew got both a/c units in yesterday, the place is nice and cool.

I did another four loads of laundry this morning, mainly bedding and table toppers. My sister is going to do all the ironing tonight so i needed to get all of the stuff washed. Tonight i was polish and tidy up my room.

Saturday we are having our living room furniture and carpet cleaned. I can hardly wait...though the furniture is not very old, it is looking dingy. After that's done, my sister and i will clean and that will be it for the weekend, i have no plans thus far, apart from that.

Today i had to call the pharmacy and have a bunch of prescriptions refilled, some for me, some for my mother. There always seems to be something we need and i feel like i am always waiting for a delivery of some sort.

With the laundry all done, i should be making the bed, as i washed the bedding..but it can wait for a bit as i write this post. Just before i sat down i ran the vacuum as i'd tracked up lint from the floor of the laundry room, gosh i hate when that happens....good thing i didn't vacuum before doing laundry, then i'd really be teed off.

Spoke to Rich earlier this morning, he is doing well, still no job. At least his spirits are still up, i have to hand it to him for that, i think i'd be pretty down myself. He always has been a real postitive person though, so i shouldn't be surprised. Anyway, my nephew John had called two days ago, asking me to ask Rich to take a look at a computer he'd picked up...basically he just wants it assessed to see if its any good, etc...then he'll decide on whether to give it to my niece Rachael or his son Connor. Rich was all too happy to help, so i'll call John later and give him Rich's phone number.

Well i supposed i should go clean in the bathroom...so i'll post this, i hope to post back later.

I am so tired, it's been a very busy day.

Woke up early to chat with a good friend online who was going to be online after working nights last night. My alarm went off but i promptly fell back asleep, darn! An hour later my next alarm went off, so that i could call our hairdressers for an appointment...sure enough we were about to get an appointment at 1pm, hooray. My hair is long, needs a cut and highlights.

So i decided since i had time, it was only 9am and mother and i hadn't gone to bed till 4am this morning, that i would go back to sleep until 10.30 am when i would wake up and call my friend Dave before he headed to work...so i set my alarm and laid back down. My mother was not happy and threatened to not go to our appointment, she wanted me to stay up but i was sleepy, so i slept. My alarm went off at 10.30am but i snoozed... and by that time i woke and called Dave but he'd already left. This day was not going so well.

I plugged in the curling iron and tried to fix my behead, not an easy task.... and it didn't go as well as i'd hoped... but in the end i gave in and just brushed it behind my ears and thought...what the heck, i'm heading to the hairdressers anyway. I put some makeup on but didn't fuss...i find i've really gotten away from it lately, perhaps out of laziness...i'll have to make more of an effort in future.

Then mother and i began to wonder what each would wear. I picked out my outfit fairly quickly...a tank top under a denim shirt..with black jeans. I was not happy once dressed so i changed into just a moss green tshirt with my black jeans. Ok..so i was ready...just a bit of perfume away from mother and her diseased lungs and that was me, all set.

So i found some clothes for mother...jeans and a tshirt. Jeans were not correct though, they were too dark, she wanted lighter jeans. Found those, they looked too big but she found another pair of capris...they would do. The tshirt was another story. A few weeks ago, for mothers birthday, i bought her two new tshirts...she had her heart set on one... but when she put it on, she said it felt too tight...shame because it was a lovely shirt...so she tried on the second one. There wasn't enough give in it for her, so she was unhappy...off i went to look for another tshirt. Found one, nope... didn't want that one...found another, got it on..she was happy with it though she was getting irritable, who can blame her...and she started in on me about how i shouldn't have gone back to sleep because now we were rushed for time...and her clothes needed ironing but i didn't have to do them, etc. So the blue shirt she'd settled on to go with her blue capris looked nice...until she went to tbe bathroom and came back...and as she was walking towards me, i noticed a stain. Was it water, i asked... no, upon closer inspection it was not, it was a grease stain...while i heard about how my laundering skills were seriously lacking, i searched for another and found another suitable tshirt that matched the pants. Finally, she was all set...except i had to dig out her portable oxygen machine, put a new tank on...put the used tank away for pick up another day...then switch her from the home unit to the portable one....and then we were ready. I had our shoes and purses ready, grabbed a bottle of water and a sweater for mother in case the a/c was on in the salon...called a taxi and off we went.

Thankfully we arrived with more than 5 minutes to spare, but they took each of us right away...and after some fun and laughter and waiting and waiting, we were done.

I made a trip to the bank machine for mother...then went to the chinese food store for some egg rolls and spring rolls to take home (they ended up being very yummy, mmm!) for a snack as we were starving. On the way we stopped at a grocery store and i ran in and picked up a few things for tonights dinner and then we were finally on our way home.

Once there, i had help mother in, she was right out of breath but she made it, i was proud of her...and i got her in the apartment and then tried to switch her from the portable to the home until...only it was sounding an alarm when we turned it back on. Uh oh... a problem. We kept trying to get it working properly, i even reset the machine..to no avail. This would not do, so i had to call Life Breath. They took the info and said they'd have someone call me back. Oh good..a few minutes later sure enough they called back...and diagnosed the problem. Apparently when we go out we shouldnt shut the machine off, as that tends to be when the machine will fail... so they had to bring us a new one. Mothers regular guy, Aaron came (what a hunk!) and replaced the machine...just basically dashed in and out as he had other calls to make. Right...that was sorted, thankfully. Mother is always much more at ease when she is on her home unit.

After all that i changed into shorts and a tshirt, got water and ice for everyone and got mother settled. We ate our spring/egg rolls and just sat gabbing for a bit. My sister was commenting on my hair, which turned out very nice. Its quite blonde after she did my roots and then gave me highlights, i love it. This time she did it all flippy..hard to describe but i love it.

While we were out, Michael had put the a/c unit in the living room window... but still had the one in my room to put in. After much waiting, he finally did so as i type this it is nice and cool (my computer is in my bedroom) ...and just in time as its really supposed to be hot and humid the next couple of days.

As they installed the a/c in my bedroom i whipped up a quick, simple pasta sauce and we had that over spaghetti. It was quite yummy, if i do say so myself. Of course, no one was really hungry by the time we ate but the three of us did eat (Michael didn't join us) and enjoyed it.

We ate late and it hasn't been long since i got the dishes done... now i'm almost ready for bed but i think i'll wait to see if Dave calls me tonight, he may or may not. Oh shoot, i just remember i have to called Rich... must go.

Goodnight blog...yawnnnssssss

It's been quite a weekend...some things i'd rather not talk about here. If anyone has been here, prior to today's post, you know why. I told a lie to someone and it caught up with me, now he is no longer speaking with me and hates me. I don't blame him but i miss him and his company online. I had posted a conversation between the two of us that explained everything... but for my own self preservation, i took it down. I'm the one who has to live with my mistake. Enough said on that topic.


Friday was brutally hot and humid and there is more weather like this on the way for later this week, so tonight we are putting in the air conditioner.

First let me tell you about my day...


This morning i woke very early (for me) at 7am. This past weekend i'd slept quite a bit, both my mother and i did, she because she was not feeling well and me because i was feeling down. What a pair we are. So this morning i woke up and needed to bathe and wash my hair badly, talk about bedhead. So in i got...oh it felt so good. I tried to rush but really i did not want to...i wanted to lie in there for hours. I didn't though... i hurried and got done. When i was done and had dried my hair, i decided i'd do laundry.

I sorted the laundry and decided i'd do four loads and save the rest for tomorrow. When i went down to the laundry room, there was no one using it...hooray i thought. Clear sailing ahead. I put the loads in and came back up to the apartment, mother doesn't like to be alone for too long when it can be helped. In 30mins i went back down to put the stuff in the dryers, still there was no one around, so i put set the dryers and back up i came. When i went down 40 minutes later, the dryers were done but boy was it packed...there were wet loads on top of each dryer and as i arrived there was an Asian lady removing stuff from the washers and another lady had just arrived to put in her washing. I got in there just in time. I do like it when i can do all of the loads at once, uninterrupted.

Mother and i folded the laundry and i got that all sorted and in each persons place...and then i was finished. That done, i decided to vacuum and clean the bathroom. After that i decided to take a break...and so i sat down at my computer to see if anyone was online, thankfully a couple were and we had nice chats.

Then it was bath time for mother. I got it all ready for her and helped her in and she washed all she could and then i finished with what she couldnt manage... then i helped her out and she sat down to dry off while i went to get us some fresh ice water, we both drink a lot of it these days.

So mother and i were both bathed and feeling chipper... and we are really looking forward to getting our hair done tomorrow, if that works out. I had called earlier in the day but the girl i spoke to couldnt set up an appointment for the owner who does mothers hair...and the girl who does mine wasnt in, so i'll call back at 9am. I need it trimmed and coloured. Want to go way blonde for the summer... and my hair is long..and i've been toying with the idea of cutting it short for summer but i've decided finally that i want to let it grow..it's grown this long so i think i'll just keep it going, then i have the option of putting it up or pulling it back into a ponytail. Yes...i like that idea.

Well..everyone is home, i should get dinner going.

Goodnight blog.

Good morning.

I awoke a few minutes ago with a splitting headache...i have taken some pain medication and i hope it helps soon as i am tired and would like to go back to sleep for a bit.

Last night as i was watching tv, a headache began...and it was so bad i had to leave the living room where the three of us were watching tv, to head to my room where it was darker, quieter and with the fans on, cooler. I took some pain medication and laid on the bed and i must have conked right out because i don't remember falling asleep. I awoke to to the tv and voices...mother and Sue.... mother watching tv, Sue playing on my computer. My headache had not eased and i promptly fell back asleep and woke at nearly midnight.

Just after then, Dave called and we spoke for a bit but she said i sounded 'out of it' which i was so we ended our call and i played some solitaire. Not my brightest move... but it eased after awhile...after lots of water and tylenols....i take too many, i know... but i have to, the pain is unbearable without it.

I didn't stay at my computer too long because the bright screen finally did get to me...so i took a soaking wet face cloth, soaked with ice cold water and doused myself with it...cooling me down and soaking my tshirt...and crawled back into bed, damp but cooler...and fell back to sleep until i was awakened with this headache not so long ago.

I wish someone was online to chat with...someone to distract me for a little while... but there is no one...so i'll play a bit of solitaire then try to get back to sleep.

Buddy has been sick twice since i've been awake....little did i feel like cleaning up after her... but luckily she was sick on the tile floors and so it was an easy job.

Long weekend for N ... i hope he has a good one but i hope we can spend time together, i really enjoy his company..especially voice chatting. Maybe we will talk on the phone...we will see. He may have a night out tonight with his friends from work... so i probably won't see him tonight... unless he comes home drunk and feels like chatting... i'll keep my fingers crossed for that.

Well, off to play some cards... more blogging later, for sure.

Today is a hot, humid day. Very muggy, very uncomfortable. I don't like days like today, no matter what you do, you sweat. I wish we had the air conditioning units in... but it'd be a shame to have them in now as it's supposed to get cooler.

Buddy isn't doing very well... i had to take her to the vets this morning, just so he could look at her. She had a slight fever but her blood work came back and all was clear with that...so he reiterated what he'd told me last night when i spoke to him, that it was probably the antibiotics and to discontinue them. Okay, so when does she stop vomiting... he said it could be a couple of days before it gets through her system...meanwhile the poor thing is vomiting all over the place, which is not endearing herself to my sister, who sometimes has to clean up the vomit. She managed to vomit again on my bed, making this the third time i have to wash bedding. I hope she feels better soon. He did say to watch her...and if she stops eating but continues to vomit, to c all them immediately, which i will do...for sure. She seems her normal self aside from the vomiting... Gosh, how many times will i mention that.

So yesterday, the pharmacy delivered my mothers prescriptions...only to forget one...when i called them back last night, they said they would send it out but the driver had gone home for the day, so they will be sending it out today. Great, another day of waiting. I decided, since they were coming again, i may as well order all of my vitamins, since i was getting low on those...and it would mean i wouldn't have to spend yet another day waiting for a delivery. Isn't it one of lifes annoyances, waiting for a delivery ..especially when you have no idea when it will arrive. At least when you order food...they give you some semblance of an idea as to how long will be. Sigh. Can you tell i am more than frustrated today.

SO .... let me recap......bedding is washed and ready to be vomited (there i said it again) on again...i can't vacuum or listen to music because i have to keep an ear out and you just know as soon as i turn the vacuum on, he will come.

Life's like that...

It was supposed to be a hot, humid day here with a smog warning ...but it seems like a very nice day. Across the street from us there is a film being shot, not an unusual sight in this city but this one is close. There is a old school there and i believe they are filming there. Just a bit of neighbourhood excitement.

Last night Sue's other son John stopped by with his two boys Connor and Evan. They are so cute and so well behaved...and John looks amazing. He used to be quite heavy and so awhile ago he began walking..and now he has lost a ton of weight, i think 80lbs if not more. He looks so handsome...but he always did, even at his heaviest. Anyway, they were here and we had a nice visit. I got a couple of pictures on my cell phone of the boys. Evan, at one point, ever the phone geek even at his young age (i think Connor is 5 and Evan is 3) wanted to play with my phone...and i normally dont mind at all...but then i remembered i had a few certain photos on my phone and i thought oh i can't let him play, just in case...so i had to keep hold of it, so he played with the other phone, calling his friends, pretend, of course.

So when they were leaving...we got big hugs and kisses and off they went...then the funniest thing happened...Sue decided to rush out onto the balcony to say a final goodbye to her grandsons....so she rushed off...forgetting the screen was closed and she ran into the screen...bounced back into apartment, falling on the floor 'ass over tea kettle' as our mother would say. It was absolutely hilarious...she didnt even see the screen in her rush to get outside...knocking it off the tracks.. Well we laughed and laughed so hard my face hurt. Thereafter every time i looked at her, we'd burst out laughing. That was fun!

I should mention she was not hurt...which is a good thing.

Well...mother has had lunch already. She didn't want breakfast today, she wasn't hungry so she had an early lunch. Today she had a roast chicken sandwich with lettuce and mayo...with chicken noodle soup. I did not eat, i am not hungry.

I had to call in a bunch of prescriptions for my mother, they will be delivered when they hear back from the doctor.

Well i should go clean the bathroom and finish up the dishes.

Have a great day!

A busy day for blogging...feel like i have lots to say today with so little words.

Buddy vomited again all over my bed...this meant having to strip it all down and wash my duvet and pillow cases (which is where most of the vomit ended up) again. She did this yesterday too...poor thing. So laundry is going and soon i'll have to start supper i suppose.

Almost 6pm, N is still asleep i guess or isn't online. I guess he isn't in the mood to chat.

M drove me over to the postal outlet and i was told the parcel is out on the truck, that it had been sent back out and sure enough there was a date on the card (todays date) saying it would be delivered today...was it, noooooooo...and given that it is almost 6pm i have given up on it arriving today too. Sigh.

Sue set mothers hair last night after i washed it and mother took the rollers out a little while ago, so i just finished combing it all out and spraying it into place. I affectionately call this 'helmet head'...so she is all set, having had her bath earlier. She always is a bit more chipper once she is bathed and her hair done. I really must take her to the hairdresses...i need mine colours and cut though i can ill afford it, it needs to be done.

I am thinking of calling N... but if he is sleeping i'd hate to wake him...maybe he just doesn't feel like being online and talking to me...so i shouldnt call..i don't know. Wish he'd come online.

I feel less panicky after taking the alprazalam, thank goodness for it..i take it before i go out too, to help those attacks that invariably happen when i go out and are around strange people, especially strange men. I wish i didn't feel this way... i want to be normal again.

Whatever normal is....

It is just after 3pm and i've gotten all the work done that i wanted to do today. N has gone for a nap and so i don't have him to chat with right now so i think i will go lay down. M just went out, when he gets back he says he will drive me over to the postal outlet to pick up that parcel N sent...i have no idea of their hours, i hope they will be open, never know how long M will be when he goes out.

I was feeling a bit panicky earlier, so i've taken one of my alprazolam, i hope it helps soon. I wish N had been able to stay online, i could have used his company...but he was so tired there is no way i could ask him. He says he'll be back later so i'll just lay down till then.

I am bored and lonely today. Not in the greatest of moods right now, i don't knw what has come over me. I miss N and wish he'd come online, i keep looking for him, hoping... but i suppose he is busy, perhaps tending to his gardening or lawn or just even relaxing at work. He did tell me he can't be online as much...i understand but i miss him.

Mother has had her bath...right after her 11am show, which is good. Soon she'll be wanting lunch, probably the usual. I just threw in 3 loads of laundry...had some bedding, etc to wash since Buddy had vomited yesterday all over things. I'll vacuum shortly, i think...i'm just trying to pass some time until someone is online to chat with.

I feel sad...i guess because i keep looking for N but i doubt he is even thinking about me. I think i've fallen for him...is it too soon for that, i don't know... i don't know how to answer that right now. My heart doesn't feel like it's wrong...and my head says he doesn't feel the same way so should i...but that's no way to think. It isn't....i'm just feeling totally insecure, that's what it is. I want him to be looking for me online as soon as he gets home... but he doesn't...he isnt like that...so why am i. Why am i being so silly.

Change of subject.

Buddy seems okay so far today. As i mentioned earlier, i put her food down around 9.30am this morning and it is now almost 1pm and she has not vomited. I hope this means she is okay and just had a bit of an upset stomach yesterday. My sister gets so pissed off when she vomits...her compassion only goes so far. I mean i know she cleaned on the weekend but it's not as if Buddy can help it...clearly she was ill.

Just talked to Dave...he called to see how i was, i told him i was blogging. He is happy i am keeping up with it...i am too though i never really talk about November, except for a brief mention earlier. Somehow i just cant bring myself to talk about it...maybe now that N knows, i will be able to...let some of it out. I know i need to.

Well...it's almost time to get the washing into the dryers...so i'll go do that.

Yesterday i talk to N about what happened to me last November.

It was very hard to talk about with him....i worry him knowing about it will change how he sees me. I can't see how it wouldn't but i don't know...it's just something i'm now thinking about.

You see it took a piece out of me, changed me, changed how i see the world. I didn't want it to, it just did. Do i see all men as being animals, no...of course not...but i am a bit frightened of strange men. I get very nervous when i leave the house. I have panic attacks and have to take tablets to calm myself so it is hard going on walk and going shopping but i try to force myself...it's just that some days are easier than others.

Tuesday already...the weekend just flew by.

Something is wrong with Buddy again, we think. She's been vomiting a lot and i am worried about her...we took up their food last night but i've just put it back down to see how things will go today. Bless her heart, i hope she is okay.

I awoke earlier with such a bad headache...i did not want to get up, but of course i had to, there are things that need doing. Mother is eating her breakfast as i type this and i am listening to Beth Orton on my headphones as i do. I'm not having breakfast because my tummy is upset. I am supposed to go out today but will leave it till later because right now i dont feel like showering or washing my hair. When mother is done eating, i'll clear up her breakfast dishes and then she wants to have a bath...that probably won't be until 1pm, after all of her morning/afternoon programs are done. Until then, i will get caught up on some things around here and run the vacuum too. Sue cleaned on the weekend so its fairly clean...so not much to do other than that.

What a lazy Sunday it's been...i awoke at 12.30pm...after going to sleep shortly after 4am. I had been chatting and then watched some stuff i'd taped earlier in the week, with mother.

When i did wake, it was with a splitting headache, which is usually totally different to the tension headaches i normally have. Not sure what caused it (do you think too much sleep?) but it hurt. I took some tylenol 1's and began my day...first by taking my medications and then after barely wiping the sleep from my eyes, i had to feed mother. She was hungry though she had had breakfast...( it is such a relief to have my sister here, who can make her breakfast on the weekends) so at least she hadn't gone without. I made her the usual cream of mushroom soup, with two slices of whole wheat bread, buttered lightly and a glass of milk. After she ate, she fell asleep...she normally does. One of my favourite times of the day...it's just a bit of quiet time..or rather, time to myself.

Since my sister and her adult son have moved in though, there is not much quiet to be had...there are almost always 3 televisions going now, all on different channels, which drives me insane. At least mother has gotten into the habit of if not turning the tv completely off, turning the volume right now. I love that.

So she had a bit of a nap while i was online, chatting a bit with N. Seems we have worked things out...it's nice to be back in touch with him. We had kind of fallen out the other night, bit of a story. I insulted him by not trusting him fully when he asked me to meet him soon. I panicked and said i wasn't ready...and that hurt him. I didn't mean to hurt him, i was just being honest...but then he pulled away from me, which really hurt...and i missed him terribly, so i'm just glad we are talking again. I have a bunch of online friends but he is a very special man, one i have feelings for...which totally took me by surprise as this has never happened to me online. Mind you i have heard of it happening, i have online friends who have met their girlfriends or wives online... i always thought that was great but i didn't forsee it happening to me...meeting anyone that is. I am so glad N has come in to my life... i hope he stays.

So awhile ago, i tried to nap but really didn't...though i did lie down for about 45 mins. I just couldnt fully sleep, so i got up and washed my hair, washed my face and brushed my teeth..and then got supper going. I am making roast chickens (2)...with mashed potatoes...cauliflower and cheese sauce and sweet potatoes, with stuffing. I hope it will be yummy. A little while i threw in a small load of laundry...trying to keep ahead of it...with the four of us there always seems to be some to do.

Well i shall go finish up dinner, it is almost done now...have to keep a closer eye on it...just going to do the gravy now.

Yum!