I am bored and lonely today. Not in the greatest of moods right now, i don't knw what has come over me. I miss N and wish he'd come online, i keep looking for him, hoping... but i suppose he is busy, perhaps tending to his gardening or lawn or just even relaxing at work. He did tell me he can't be online as much...i understand but i miss him.

Mother has had her bath...right after her 11am show, which is good. Soon she'll be wanting lunch, probably the usual. I just threw in 3 loads of laundry...had some bedding, etc to wash since Buddy had vomited yesterday all over things. I'll vacuum shortly, i think...i'm just trying to pass some time until someone is online to chat with.

I feel sad...i guess because i keep looking for N but i doubt he is even thinking about me. I think i've fallen for him...is it too soon for that, i don't know... i don't know how to answer that right now. My heart doesn't feel like it's wrong...and my head says he doesn't feel the same way so should i...but that's no way to think. It isn't....i'm just feeling totally insecure, that's what it is. I want him to be looking for me online as soon as he gets home... but he doesn't...he isnt like that...so why am i. Why am i being so silly.

Change of subject.

Buddy seems okay so far today. As i mentioned earlier, i put her food down around 9.30am this morning and it is now almost 1pm and she has not vomited. I hope this means she is okay and just had a bit of an upset stomach yesterday. My sister gets so pissed off when she vomits...her compassion only goes so far. I mean i know she cleaned on the weekend but it's not as if Buddy can help it...clearly she was ill.

Just talked to Dave...he called to see how i was, i told him i was blogging. He is happy i am keeping up with it...i am too though i never really talk about November, except for a brief mention earlier. Somehow i just cant bring myself to talk about it...maybe now that N knows, i will be able to...let some of it out. I know i need to.

Well...it's almost time to get the washing into the dryers...so i'll go do that.